Two Saturn Returns

A few minutes ago, Saturn moved from Libra into Scorpio. This marks the official end of my second Saturn return.

In Hellenistic astrology, the Saturn return is measured as the entire time the planet transits its natal sign, and not just the exact degree aspect. I find that to be a very useful interpretive principle.

The parallels between the two returns were marked, and quite eerie.

Some background – in my chart Saturn is out of sect and retrograde, in the 10th house in Libra, ruler of my Capricorn ascendant. Saturn is also in mutual reception with a trine degree aspect with Venus in Aquarius in my 2nd house, and square my moon Cancer in the 7th.

Venus rules my 5th house of children.

And finally, Saturn’s antiscion is conjunct my Pisces Sun in my 3rd house, which rules my 8th house.

So we have 10th house (career), 2nd(finances), 3rd(relatives),7th(relationships), 8th(death) and 5th(children).

Near the beginning of my first Saturn return in 1980, my first wife’s younger sister died of cancer.  About a year later, near the time that the Saturn return aspect was exact, our daughter was born, and given the middle name of the sister who had died.

The same weekend my daughter was born I started a new job and a new career.

At around the time the first Saturn return ended, I left my wife, and the marriage ended in divorce.

Fast forward thirty years into the future.

Very near the start of my second Saturn return, within a few weeks of Saturn’s Libra ingress, my second wife died of cancer.

A few months before, I accepted a job offer, to the position I hold now.

About a year after my wife’s death, near the exact degree aspect of the Saturn return, my granddaughter was born. Her middle name is the name of my deceased wife.

So, both returns were marked by
– a death of a woman relative from cancer
– a girl being born and given the dead woman’s name for her middle name
– a new job starting
– a marriage ending – one from divorce, and one from death.

—-

Which one was more difficult?  They were different.

I was much less aware during the first return, so I felt knocked around and buffeted by circumstances a lot more. The second return was mostly focused on grieving my second wife’s death, which I tried to do quite consciously.

—-

This afternoon, while I was counting down and waiting for the final ingress, I listened to a CD of Paul Simon’s Greatest Hits. It felt appropriate – Paul Simon does Melancholy better than anyone else I know.

Shortly before the ingress was the tune, ‘Something So Right’, which I’ve always associated with my wife.

Right at the turning, the final song was, ‘American Tune’.

I don’t know a soul who’s not been battered,
I don’t know a friend who feels at ease.
I don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered
Or driven to its knees.

Oh, but it’s all right, it’s all right,
For we’ve lived so well so long.
Still, when I think of
the road we’re traveling on,
I wonder what’s gone wrong,
I can’t help it I wonder,
What’s gone wrong.

– Paul Simon